My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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