Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
