we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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