Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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