three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
