mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
