I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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