you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
