I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
