what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
