So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
