Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
