Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and she was petting her beer can
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
