I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
