There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
