I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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