Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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