Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
