is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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