I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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