question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
