windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
