You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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