I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
