u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
