arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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