A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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