tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
