i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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