hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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