He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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