you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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