Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
