New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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