So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm really busy with my period
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