I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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