I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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