youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
