ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
