so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
