Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
