Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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