Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
not ubering you a puppy
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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