I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize