ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
