butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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