Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
