8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
