i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
how does that bad decision feel?
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