he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
