You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
