I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
