I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
