i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
