Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
