you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
