Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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