Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
